Inb4 Pointing Out the Fallacious Logic Behind this Pun
Blah blah objectivism blah radical subject blah. - Matty Malaprop
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Snowed-in employee calls off at 5 AM, boss tries to send ride share to pick them up anyway: 'The roads are so bad here'
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Boss fires employee for refusing to illegally drive to work during a hazardous snowstorm: 'My county had a Level 3 snow warning, it's illegal for me to drive to work.'
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17-year-old brother refuses to drive his sister's friend to school after she rejected his advances: 'Continuing to be around Melissa was making it harder for him to move on.'
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Parents want 20-year-old daughter to move in with 24-year-old brother because they don't trust her to live independently, don't understand why brother refuses: 'I live with my fiancée and while we do have a spare bedroom, my fiancée is 4 months pregnant'
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40+ of the freshest and funniest tweets of the week: 'I cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your coworkers'
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